Closure
by Mezo Phane
Summary: James Kirk never got to say goodbye to the closest person he had to a father when he died in the Daystrom Conference Room. Now he, Jim, is dead too, and at least the afterlife looks like the Enterprise. Unfortunately, someone's sitting in his chair. This time, though, he doesn't mind at all. Set during ST:ID.


A.N. This is my first fanfic, well, not my first, I've been writing fanfic for almost a year now, but only now did I get my account up. It's set in Into Darkness, during the time when Jim is dead as a doornail. Here's a little detail on what inspired this one shot-I was very ticked off at the fact that there was no closure between Jim and Pike. _Very_ ticked off. As a God-fearing person, I do believe in an afterlife, so I think that there should have been some sort of something. And no, just hearing his voice mixed with that of your parents as you lie between worlds is _not_ enough for me. That father-son relationship was so beautiful-I loved it even in the first movie. Ugh. That scene where Pike chews Jim out in that angry dad manner was intriguing, that subsequent bar scene both amusing and touching, its references to the first bar scene provoking a few chuckles from me, and then the heartbreaking scene in the Daystrom Conference Room. That scene for me was just-oh, I still almost can't watch it. What can I say, Chris Pine and Bruce Greenwood just work so well together, and are _good_ actors. So, here is my one shot, I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, or any of the characters therein. I just play with Mr. Roddenberry's characters when I have time.

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Closure

It was pain. That was all Jim was conscious of. Not just that of the physical, of his internal organs being fried, but that of being taken from the world. Of being ripped from his friends-from everything he knew. He had just talked with Spock a second ago, and as his vision faded, the pain remained. It was just his luck, really, that even in death, he'd feel pain. He was just starting to reconcile himself with the fact that the pain might just last forever, when, in a second the pain disappeared, replaced with a feeling of peace the likes of which he had never felt before, and his vision cleared. At first, all he saw was blinding white, but then shapes began to resolve themselves. He was on the empty Bridge of the Enterprise, wearing his command gold, the view screen showing a dark expanse of space, barely dotted with the faintest of stars, standing just behind the Captain's Chair. Huh. Was this the afterlife? He was looking around the Bridge, when he noticed something was wrong. Someone was sitting in his chair. Really, he thought incredulously. Could he not have peace in his afterlife? Someone had to sit in his chair? He could see a head of wavy greying brown hair above the backrest, and an elbow clothed likewise in command gold, captain's stripes shining on the hem, rested on the right armrest, as the thumb of the hand fidgeted with a... fleet ring which rested on the ring finger. Could it be? Then, a clear baritone voice rang out through the Bridge. "Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to come over here?" And the person spun the Captain's Chair around to face him. Jim had to choke back a sob as his vision swam not from the radiation, but from the tears that flooded his eyes, and the emotion that strangled his throat so thickly, it almost felt like when Spock throttled him over the Navigation console. There, sitting in front of him, with a kindly smile, was Christopher Pike. He looked as he had before the Narada Incident, healthy and vital, not weighed down by the inevitable troubles that came with being an Admiral, free from the perpetual appearance of discomfort due to the limp that came from the slug Nero had used to torture him, and certainly free from the blend of bleak emotions present on his face at his...death.

"Chris," Jim managed to choke out.

"Yeah, it's me, kid."

Jim remained frozen for a second, then he strode around the rail that was behind the chair, over to him. Pike was already out of the chair when Jim engulfed him in an embrace. He fought to keep a semblance of composure, but his effort proved to be in vain when he felt the older man's arms wrap around him-he broke completely, wracking sobs escaped him, and tears streamed from his eyes. He heard a gentle sigh from above his head, and a quiet, "It's alright, son. It's alright."

Jim finally pulled back and looked at his mentor. "You're okay." He felt like an idiot for stating the obvious, but he almost couldn't believe his eyes.

"Yeah, well, other than the fact that I'm dead, I'm okay, Jim."

Jim looked away, chuckling under his breath. When he looked back up, his expression was somber again. Before he knew it, the words escaped his mouth.

"I'm sorry."

A furrow appeared between Pike's brow. "For what?"

Jim felt his lip start to tremble. "It's my fault you're dead. I-I-Should have-I could have-"

Pike scoffed. "Are you kidding me, Jim?" He put his hand on Jim's shoulder, led him to the Navigation station, and gestured for him to sit down in the chair. Pike settled himself in the Helm station and leaned forward.

"Listen to me, Jim, don't blame yourself for my death. With my stupid limp, the odds that I would have gotten out of there alive were slim."

"I kept shooting at the jump ship with the rifle, I should have seen that I wasn't going anywhere with that method. I should have come up with the idea that took the ship down sooner. If I had, you wouldn't-"

"Jim. Jim, listen to me. You expect too much of yourself. If I know you, and I do, you gave your all to the situation."

Jim grew nearly frantic. "No, you don't understand, this is the second time, I-" a sob escaped him, and he took a breath. Pike just sat there, letting him calm himself, knowing that this was something more, that he had to get this all out. Jim mournfully looked up.

"It's the second time, Chris."

"What do you mean?"

Jim swiped a hand down his face, and said, "You know, the Kelvin, and Dad. He _died_ for me, Chris. Died _because_ of me. _You_ died because of me. You're the second father of mine to die because of me." He looked down. "I'm sorry if I've overstepped, Chris, I shouldn't have said that-"

"No, it's okay, Jim." Pike smiled slightly. "You know, I never married, never had kids. I was married to the 'fleet. Didn't have time for anyone else. Couldn't have _had_ time for anyone else. But you are the closest thing I ever had to a son. I didn't just call you that for kicks, Jim. I _meant_ it. I _mean_ it."

A half sob, half laugh escaped Jim. "You know, Admiral Marcus called me 'son'. I hated it, I wanted to kick his ass. You were the only one I wanted to call me that." The two remained quiet for a minute. Then Pike tilted his head, as if he was hearing something. He turned to the viewscreen and the image shifted to show a frantic and frazzled looking Bones drawing blood from an unconscious Khan, who was lying on a biobed, and a cryotube lying next to it, containing... Jim's body. He looked at Pike, questioningly.

"McCoy has a plan, Jim. The man's a medical genius, really. Khan's blood can reverse the damage."

"I'm going back?"

"Well, that's still up to you. You have the choice. You can go back, or you can stay."

"I don't know. What should I do?"

"This isn't up to me, kid. This is you-I can't make this decision for you."

Jim looked hesitantly at him. Pike knew what he was thinking immediately.

"Don't you make this decision based on me, James Tiberius Kirk, don't you dare. You make this choice on your own. Either way, I'll respect your decision."

Jim looked up at the viewscreen again. He saw Spock in the corner, his face passive and quite Vulcan, but the look in his eyes was, to say the least, emotional. Uhura was beside him, clutching Spock's arm with a worried look on her face, and tear tracks traced her cheeks. He thought of Chekov and Sulu, and automatically, the screen shifted to the Bridge, and instead of the empty one he and Pike were sitting in, this one was bustling, and full of life. Sulu was in the Captain's Chair and Chekov was sitting back at the Navigation controls where he belonged. Everyone looked on edge, and vaguely lost. Not at all like the battered but fairly confident crew he last saw. They needed him. And also, quite frankly, he needed them. They grounded him in a way that was unique and special. The needs of the many and the needs of the few, all rolled up into one. He looked back at Pike, a regretful expression on his face. Pike nodded, knowing that he had made up his mind.

"It's a good choice, Jim. Don't you regret it."

He stood up, and Jim did likewise.

"I have to leave now?"

"If you want to go back, yes."

They were now standing awkwardly in front of the Captain's Chair, and Pike spoke first. "Remember what I said, I believe in you, and-I'm proud of you, Jim." At this, Jim hugged him even tighter than before.

"I'm not going to be able to say this for a while, so I'll say it now," said Jim waveringly. "I love you, Chris."

Pike patted Jim's head in such a paternal manner, it was heart wrenching, and replied, "I love you too, son." When they eventually released each other, Jim had a look of sad determination-almost as set as when he went to enter the warp core.

"What do I have to do?"

Pike looked towards the turbolift doors.

"Exit the Bridge?"

"Yes." Pike paused. "Go be with your crew, Jim."

Jim nodded vigorously, and took slow, resolute steps to the turbolift doors. They opened, and he was about to step through when Pike called, "Captain Kirk!"

Jim turned. "Yes, Sir."

A proud smile spread across Pike's face. "You have the bridge, Captain."

Jim's heart ached at this, but it was a good kind of ache. Unexpectedly, when his voice came out to reply, it was steady and strong. "Aye-Aye, Admiral."

He turned back around and took that final step into the glaring white of the turbolift. There was a rushing sound in his ear, and the glaring white rapidly turned into dark, Stygian and unrelieved black. The rushing noise increased in volume until it was deafening, and suddenly the darkness receded, he was lying down, and he inhaled sharply as he came to. A familiar face entered his vision, and the equally familiar accented voice that matched said face proclaimed, "Oh, don't be so melodramatic, you were barely dead."

The end.

Hope you liked it!

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A.N. Updated 12/17

Whelp, this is awkward. I was just randomly browsing the thread today, and saw that there already is a fic called "Closure" on here. It's by JaneyKatherineHummingbird. To JaneyKatherineHummingbird, I promise I wrote this way before I saw your fic, and the title, and any material in this one-shot that you might hypothetically deem similar to your work is a total and utter coincidence, I promise. If there is one thing I dislike, it's plagiarism, and plagiarists. I loved reading your "Closure", and your other fics are also really good. My apologies for any confusion, my fellow author.

Mezo

Go read her works, they're really good.


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